Monday, January 18, 2016

2015: The Year of Epiphanies

This last year has been a year of discovery.  I've discovered things about my self, my children and others in my family.  It's also been a year of joy tempered with sadness. I turned 55 in 2015 and I celebrated my 26th wedding anniversary. Our second grandson was born and I fell in love again.  Just like no one can really prepare you for parenthood, becoming a grandma is an experience I wasn't expecting to be so life changing.  

This too shall pass.

I know this is an overused phrase, but yet it pops into my head more and more as I age. Whether it's the pain of a miscarriage, or the disappointment of a broken relationship, the situation does get better. We heal, and we survive. From the small disappointments to overwhelming trauma, it does pass. We may have to take it one day at a time, or even hours at a time, but it will get better. Embrace this idea,  because it will help you get through the tough times.

Take a Deep Breath

Slow down. Be thankful. Take note of the beauty around you.  Easy? Sometimes it seems impossible, but when we manage to do it, the benefits are amazing. It clears the head to let us make decisions about the priorities in our life.  

Get to Know Yourself

I have general anxiety and social anxiety. I have also developed periodic depression. Do I wish I didn't have these problems? You bet. I'm also five foot tall. I can wish I was tall and leggy until the cows come home but it's not going to change my height.  The same goes for my anxiety.  I listen to my doctor, and over the years I've learned what works for me and what doesn't. I listen when my husband points out that I'm freaking out over nothing. I've learned to take a deep breath, and my kids remind me if I forget.

This year I've also learned to limit my time with toxic people and situations. I have decided that I want to spend time and energy with my husband, my kids and my  grandchildren instead of those who are toxic to myself and my family. Again, not an easy thing to do, but something that has become a necessity. 

The Joys

In 2015 my second grandson was born to my son and his fiance. Calvin is a joy beyond words. He joined out first grandson, Jace, who will turn three this year.  The three of us had a good first day at the hospital as long as I shared my attention and made sure he understood that grandma has enough love to spread around. 

My children are 15, 21 and 22 now, and in 2015 I watched them grow, mature and learn lessons they needed to learn on their own.  It's hard watching our kids learn lessons. So many times I wanted to jump in and stop them from making mistakes, but I had to trust that we raised them to handle anything that comes their way. 

I see good things ahead in 2016.  It may not always be easy but I know the joys will always make up for the challenges. 



Karen @ Beatrice Euphemie said...

Hi Brenda - I enjoyed reading your very wise words and great advice! I am just a little bit ahead of you time-wise - my children are in their 30's now and I just turned the big 6-0. Scary, but I am hanging in there! I, too, have suffered from anxiety and depression at times, although since I have been blogging, I have had my spirits greatly uplifted by all the warm and wonderful people I have 'met'. I agree with letting go of toxic people and that is also another reason that I am feeling healthy and whole these last few years. Sometimes you simply can't due to obligations of work or extended family, but when that opportunity arises to make those changes, it is an amazingly freeing experience. I look forward to getting to know you better through your wonderful blog. Hugs xo Karen

Brenda Hyde said...

Thank you so much, Karen. I agree on being uplifted by online friends...I too have found wonderful friends and support since going online. Letting go is so very difficult, but afterwards it really is freeing:)